I recently stumbled across a video that I hadn’t seen in a while.

If you grew up in an evangelical christian home in the late nineties/early aughts, there’s a great chance that either you or your mom loved this song. Even though I identified as a “punk rocker” listening to statement art like this…, THIS… , AND THIS!!! Testify to Love was on my radar.

Looking back, I see a lot to love about the song. Maybe I should just testify?

First, consider the musical stylings. Avalon has an undeniable Southern Gospel backbone. As someone who grew up in a Southern Gospel singing family, I can tell you that game recognizes game. You know it when you see it. It’s similar to homeschool families stumbling across each other in the woods on a Thursday morning. But this song isn’t JUST Southern Gospel. Daring production minds tossed a few other sizzling ingredients into the musical pot. Things like:

• A funky guitar. It’s running through an envelope filter, so you know they mean business. (Don’t worry, purists, it’s buried way down in the mix so things don’t get out of hand.)
• 90’s boy band haircuts for the guys. These are still happening with stunning regularity in Southern Gospel, so well-done, Avalon, for being slightly behind the original curve but way ahead of the second wave.
• Loosely choreographed movement on stage. I wouldn’t call it dancing, it’s more like a musical zone-defense with swapping coverage. If the solo switches to stage right, make sure harmony 3 slides over to position 2, etc.
• The heavy effects on the spoken word bridge that gives the slightest side-eyed nod to rap without taking a further step toward “that” genre.

Despite, or maybe because of these added elements, this is a spicy Southern Gospel hit. From the vocal harmonies to the super-intense, almost manic smiling at each other while singing, this band remembers where it came from.

Second, it’s just a good song. It’s definitely got a Disney Pocahontas vibe through the verses, and the message is a beautiful statement that, like creation, the singer(s) pledge to testify to love for as long as they live. It’s not a bad goal.

Watching this video took me back to a lot of good memories I have around CCM (Contemporary Christian Music). As a teen, a highlight of my year was going to the now defunct Creation Festival. If you don’t know about it, it’s basically a christianized version of any other music festival. For a four day stretch every summer, thousands of youth groups, musicians, and other people(?) would show up, camp, sweat, and catch some music. 

To me, it felt like a place where everyone was welcome. While that may have been the intent, even the best laid plans often go awry.

As I revisited the band Avalon, I learned that Michael Passons, a former member, recently came out as gay. While this is relatively new information for the public (2020), he indicates it as the reason he was asked to leave the band way back in 2003. The interview wasn’t nasty or vindictive in tone, but it seems like the whole situation was handled poorly. Citing his pursuit of a solo career, Avalon announced Passon’s departure and left it at that. 

I think about my own feelings of safety and belonging in my formative days and can’t help but feel sad over everyone who, for whatever reason, was marginalized or “failed” to clear the bar of entry to the family of God. My heart breaks for Passons, who was subjected to “reparative” therapy regarding sexuality even as some ugly sexual abuse was happening at the hands of one of the founders of Creation Festival.

I can’t help but think about so many artists in Christian culture who speak openly about struggles with addiction, pornography, or broken marriages and find open arms in the church (which I think is the right move. If we’re going to live by grace, let’s do it with capital G). So what message is sent to an artist like Passons who was seemingly turned away from that life-giving fountain? Or what kind of damage happens to the souls of people who feel the need to put up a false front to maintain their seat at table? Creating this kind of culture speaks to a small view of grace and a lack of confidence in God’s ability to work in any life.

To be clear, I’m not advocating for tossing out standards. We can’t ignore the damage done by our actions. Shared values hold us together and are an important part of any culture. This is as true of church culture as any other. So I’m not writing about someone who doesn’t want to follow Jesus. That’s a different situation in my mind. The sadness I feel is for those who would accept his invitation but are turned away by the cultural gate-keepers.

I’ve titled this series of writings “The Sacred Egress” as a way of identifying beautiful things in unlooked for or even unexpected places. It’s my way of recognizing that God’s good work happens outside the boxes I construct. Looking for these points has helped me find beauty in the brokenness and hold on to hope for future healing. In the midst of this bittersweet journey into my musical history, I did find one of these points that couldn’t be more appropriate. In addition to being a point of sacred egress, it’s a point of grace. Like, the band – Point of Grace. Following his time in Avalon, Passons began playing keyboard with POG and supporting their tour. I certainly hope that the experience goes well beyond the name and that he has indeed found all the grace he needs to live in a hard world.

I’ll close with this. For everyone who has been cut out, marginalized, spoken down to, and stripped of dignity (as well as those who have done those things), I hope and pray that we all find our seat at the table and never stop testifying to the love that put us there. May it be so.